The First Oath (Second Draft)

-First Draft -

My Oath

I, [name], declare myself to be a Pagan. I follow the Elder Gods.

I vow to seek virtue in my life. To do right by those bonded to me, and those I am bonded to, to serve my community both Pagan and secular.

I vow to set my foot upon the path, the Druid's Way, and I vow to make my dedication plain. To keep my rites and works as best I may.

I vow to study and learn, to deepen my knowledge and bond with the Druid Path and the ways of the Elder Gods.

These things I swear before and to the Kindred.

I think I'm going to change 'Elder Gods' to Ancient Gods. Because, while Elder may be more accurate than Ancient depending on perspective, using the term Elder Gods is way too Lovecraft/Cthulhu for me. I think intent, mental associations, and feelings are probably pretty vital to an undertaking like this and the last thing I want to do is swear an oath with a mental image of Cthulhu lurking over my shoulder. Not good.

-Second Draft-

I, [name] am a Pagan.

I follow the Ancient Gods.

  I vow to seek virtue in my life.

I vow to do right by those bonded to me, and those I am bonded to.

I vow to serve my community both Pagan and secular.

I vow to set my foot upon this path, the Druid's Way.

I vow to keep my rites and works as best I may.

I vow to study and learn,

I vow to deepen my knowledge and bond with the Kindreds.

These things I do so swear before and unto the Kindreds and Earth Mother.

I am very happy with this version. The language flows better, it is not weighed down by false stilted language, the references to 'Elder Gods' has been removed alleviating that association. Out of curiosity I counted the number of times vow appears and, unless my count is wrong, the total is seven. Which I enjoy being a traditionally important number in western literature etc. I also added the Earth Mother at the end as it seemed particularly  vital to acknowledge Her separately and individually as the COoR does. The only thing I think is missing is a, how to phrase this, comeuppance? For deliberately violating the oath.

According to the article, Exploring Oaths by Rev. James 'Seamus' Dillard in Oak Leaves number 53, "to take an oath is in effect to invoke powers greater than oneself to uphold the truth of a declaration, by putting a curse upon oneself if it is false". So, basically, I guess what I need is the threat at the end. I’d like to go with something appropriately Celtic/Gaelic if I can. Much to think on!

-Final Draft-

I, [name] am a Pagan.

I follow the Ancient Gods.

I vow to seek virtue in my life.

I vow to strive to do right by those bonded to me, and those I am bonded to.

I vow to serve my community, both Pagan and Secular, as best I may.

I vow to set my foot upon this path, the Druid's Way.

I vow to keep my rites and works as best I may.

I vow to study and learn.

I vow to deepen my knowledge and bond with the Kindreds.

These things I do so swear before and unto the Kindreds and the Earth Mother. 

Should I prove false

May the Sea rise up against me.

May the Sky engulf me.

May the land open beneath me.

I am satisfied with this version. It provides the threat, but also couches the language in more forgiving terms, it has a good rhythm as well. I add  'the' before Earth Mother, as simply 'Earth Mother' seemed overly familiar. I plan/hope to recite my oath as my working for the Fall Equinox/Mabon rite I've adapted.